5:08 a.m.-5:13 a.m.-- Suspect cries with delight at the sight of the easy prey she will soon claim, receives 9's on 1 minute and 5 minute Apgar scores, and is cleaned of a strange slimy substance. She also gets placed under a warming lamp and wrapped in a nice clean diaper (which she proceeds to soil moments later).
5:13-5:18--Unsuspecting and somewhat dim-witted male wanders within range of the suspect's overwhelming powers, is instantly under her control. He then lifts suspect and transports her across the room to a weakened but undeniably beautiful female. She, too, falls to the suspect's power.
In a matter of minutes, suspect was able to disarm the two adults and steal their hearts right out of their chests.
Just hours later, suspect successfully repeats this process with 3 children with little hesitation or difficulty.
Suspect photo and description can be found below. WARNING!!! Even photographic reproduction of the suspect has been linked to near-instantaneous loss of one's heart.
Name: Evaleigh Diane Gasser; aka "Baby Sister" aka "Peanut"
Size: 7 pounds, 2 ounces; 20.5 inches
Tells: Has been known to resort to a high pitched yell if she feels her grip on everyone's attention is loosening. Eats like a person at least twice her age. Sleeps with her mouth wide open. Has mastered the art of the bowel movement. Currently sporting a small but definite 'mullet' hair do.
Needless to say, we have fallen for our little girl. And despite a few hiccups and bumps at the hospital, everyone is happy to be home.
Thanks to all for the love, support, and prayers! Stay tuned as we will soon return to our game of "Catch Up On The Blog"




