and he's still thrilled about every "little" thing!
super hero bandaids
potato head parts
brownies with ice cream spread on the top and a few cheap super hero toys strategically placed
he thought it was "the best birthday EVER!"
I could not be more grateful for this BIG man. He has definitely been a super hero in my life. He is my little bit of sunshine every day. Thank goodness he is still home with me each day. I know that he is the main reason I would push myself everyday to stay out of a dark corner and try to actually DO something. He is a very happy and imaginative boy. He's also very loving and always aware.
It amazes me that he is never afraid to say what he's thinking, and a lot of the time it is very similar to our own thoughts. He is by far the most vocal about how he feels about Beckett dying. He is quick to express his immediate impressions and thoughts.
At the store, if we see someone with a baby, he will say "it's not fair that they have their baby and we don't have ours." "Why did Heavenly Father need Beckett but he left everyone else's babies here?" "I miss Beckett and his happy face."
He comments often about not having a brother that will live in his room and play with him, and how that makes him sad. He asks when the resurrection will finally happen. When he hears sirens he immediately asks questions about that horrible day when the firemen came to get Beckett. He doesn't like to go to church because it is a constant reminder of what he no longer has, but everyone else DOES still have.
It brakes my heart to know how sad, frustrated and confused he often feels. But, even though it is so hard to hear, and some days I really wish I didn't have to hear his sad thoughts because it just makes me feel more horrible, I am SO very grateful that he is so open and willing to share his thoughts all of the time. I think it has helped all of us to be better at thinking through our own feelings and facing them, rather than trying to suppress them and hide them from eachother.
He really is our family's 4-year-old super hero!
3 comments:
I loved seeing the happy faces enjoying the magic of Disney World. The pirate pool looks pretty awesome. I'm so grateful that you were able to have an escape that week.
Coleson looks like he had a great birthday - the brownies with ice cream spread on top is genius. What a sweet boy.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so honestly. I'm so sorry that this has happened, and I'm keeping you all in my prayers and thoughts.
Oh Andrea, my heart aches for you and your family. Thank you for sharing and your personal thoughts and feelings as well as your sweet son's heart ache of losing his brother. It has helped me in reading your own honest thoughts and experiences with my own. It has always been hard for me to express the feelings and sadness of losing our son. I am so sorry this happened to your family. I have kept you in my thoughts and prayers a lot since hearing about your little guy. I hope as time passes the heart ache gets easier. It was 3 years ago yesterday that our son passed and I was so emotional yesterday but to be honest I didn't know why until my husband told me the date! I guess I have always tried to remember the time we did have with him rather than the day he was called back to Heaven. But I believe Ethan was so close to me yesterday not wanting me to forget him. Anyway, I am so sorry for your loss. But I am thankful that we both have the gospel and the blessings of an eternal marriage and being sealed to our family. Thanks for your friendship through all these years. Love you!
Coleson is a very special little boy. I've only been his primary teacher for a couple of weeks, but already I can see his tender heart and his worries when he tries to do something perfectly, and his joy when he can get someone else to laugh (which is often) or when he gets a turn to do something special (he was a very courageous Nephi last Sunday!). He has an amazing grasp of the gospel for someone so young and I can tell he really pays attention to the lessons and connects things to what he has learned at home. I love having him in class, and I will look out for his sweet little heart at church.
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